I can’t help it, I am a visionary.  I love a new idea.  I get an immediate expansive understanding of where it can go, what it can be, and I am excited for the Journey.  Then the great feeling gets abducted by my detail-loving worrisome mind.   The tug of war between the two begins almost the moment the idea becomes panoramic–a consciousness-accelerating, joy-inducing Vision of What Could Be.

The latest in this series of such Visions is the Radiant Child Family Yoga 200 hour (and the shorter 95 hour) teacher training course.  It is such an amazing vision–a yoga certification based in expansion of awareness, joy, and soul-service to our Selves, the children of the world, and their families.  Wow..the vision just expanded again!

So here we are, summer in the rolling mountains of Virginia in the middle of a heat wave, preparing to receive the students at a retreat location nearby.  Details are flying around like gnats…. food, schedule, bedding, directions…..My dear support team and Radiant Child Yoga trainers, Lisa and Mariana, are working just as hard as I am because it is the DAY BEFORE!  The big DAY BEFORE it all starts.  And here is the tug of war:  happy anticipation and enjoyment on one end– worry over getting everything “right” to the point of overwhelment on the other end.  Tug, tug, ugh!

Then cool, neutral, friendly Self comes in…..

Do you want to do something different? It says.

Yes…I wimper..

Do you know it is possible?

Yes..I whisper.

Then find the feeling place of what you want, where you want to be. Ride it, surf it. Stick with its flow.

Ok….( I sink into my body, head thoughts sinking down like the swirling sand settling in water)  There it is–I get the visceral.

Ok, stay with that, follow that.  Breathe. Nothing is more important than this moment.  This moment is Life.  Nothing else exists.  Not even the day before….

Something unwinds in my low back and pelvis.  My jaw releases with a slight cracking sound.  There is more room to breathe.  The breath unleashes spontaneously in a cross between a sigh and a yawn.  The revved-up internal motor cuts off.

I know that the DAY BEFORE, and the one after that, and all 17 days of this precious time will flow so much better with me feeling as I feel right now.

Thanks, Self.  Will you be sticking around?

That’s up to you, my smiling one!