A couple things I’ve found out about wanting children to be “disciplined”:
1. No amount of attempt at building self-esteem that comes from the outside will be effective. The best you can do is recognize their greatness and encourage it when you see even a glimmer of it.
2. Neutral, friendly talk, like the skills from How to Talk so Kids will Listen, and Listen so Kids will Talk, by Faber and Mazlish, work best.
3. Create magical moments and it will have its own discipline. Like bringing children out of a deep relaxation with a kiss from a soft puppet that they can hug, and then reminding them that “some are still resting, so wake up quietly while we wait for all our friends to be ready”.
4. Most of all: train them into their own guidance, which means you have to be there too!!